on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
