Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
