In the future we'll all be gay
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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