I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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