Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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