This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
