i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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