I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
