is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
