He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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