I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
