Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You can't just leave with hair like that
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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