I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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