I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize