Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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