Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
