About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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