Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
