'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
