there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
