mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
