you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
3pm strippers are depressing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
