If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wish there were birth control emojis
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
