part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I stole a fireplace last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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