Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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