I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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