I can tuck mytits in my pants
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
