So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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