Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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