Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
