either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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