I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
