she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize