Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
