forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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