and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
