What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
vagina is talking i cant
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
