you mean i was at the winter classic?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
