Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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