Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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