ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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