grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize