Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
