All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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