you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
