brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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