i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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