I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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