garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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