Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
