I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
