That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize