Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
