That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
