hell yes lets make some ravioli
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
