I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she woke up with a sticky ear
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
