i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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