Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
