The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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