Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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