what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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