We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
