Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
