You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
