ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
