You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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